Just Don't Worry About It
by Castieldelic
Summary: Japan thought he made his boyfriend happy. Turns out he was wrong. Brokenhearted, Japan sprawled himself onto his bed, drifting away from the world. Rated M for cutting and angst. Edited for logical errors and suckyness.


**A/N: Just a little drabble... If you don't like self-harm, cursing, depressed Japan, bitchy and aggressive America, or over-protective China, please don't read. I also edited the cutting scene, and any other logical errors. Thanks for reading, and don't forget to review!**

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><p><em>Just don't worry about it<em>

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><p>"Well," Alfred sighed, setting his mug down on the table in front of him. "How should I put this, Kiks?"<p>

"P-put what?" Kiku frowned, looking very alarmed.

"I can't do this anymore. I can't be with you." Alfred looked away from his former boyfriend.

"You what?" Kiku yelled, clanging his teacup on the table.

"Please Kiks, we're in public..." He looked around at the other couples staring.

"Why the fuck does it matter that we're in public?" Kiku stood, glaring at Alfred.

"Please Kiks, not here..." Alfred fiercely whispered, grabbing him harshly by the arm and pulling him out of the small coffee shop.

When they reached outside, Kiku threw Alfred off of him. "Who is it?"

"W-what do you mean?"

"Who. The. Fuck. Is. It." Kiku hissed, staring angrily into Alfred's eyes. Alfred avoided the stare, lowly muttering "Arthur,"

"Take me home," Kiku breathed, still glaring at him. Alfred walked to the truck, offering to open Kiku's door. He stepped in, slamming the door behind him. Alfred got in on the other side, starting up the truck and beginning to back out.

"Kiku... I'm sorry... I-"

"How could you? I gave you everything I could! What does he have that I don't?" He started to tear up, but blinked them away.

"He puts out! I'm getting tired of going off to get off! Every damn time I asked for sex, you had to have some shitty excuse for me! 'I can't, I have to study.' 'S-stop, I'm not neatened up.' 'Don't, I have to run track tomorrow,'! That's all that I fucking hear out of your mouth! I wanted foreplay, I wanted something kinky, and I wanted something with police items! You never did! He does! You didn't satisfy me, and you know it deep down!" He swerved down a street, nearly hitting a pedestrian.

"You know that those "excuses" were true! You act as if I didn't want sex! I'm sorry that you fuck me so hard that I can't walk, or that I actually WANT good grades! So what, I'm not as kinky as Arthur! Maybe I don't want to be handcuffed to the bed, and come home with whip marks all down my sides!"

"You're just a toy to me, you know that?" Alfred sighed, stopping at a red light.

"A toy? I'm a TOY TO YOU?"

"Looks like you heard me correctly. You are just a boy toy to me. I had you around when I wanted, and kept you outta mind when I didn't. I endlessly screwed you when you let me, no matter what you said. I would call it rape, but I have a feeling that you enjoyed it." The light turned green and the car started to inch forward.

Kiku drew a deep, shaky breath, on the verge of crying. _"I'm just a Goddamn toy to him," _he thought. _"I must be a toy to everyone. To everything... I give him everything I could, whenever he needed it... Money, attention, books, loves... Maybe I just wasn't enough. I wasn't throwing myself on him like some slut in an alley... Next time... Next boyfriend I have... That's all I'll do..."_

"Hey, Kiks... Look at me." Alfred whispered, stopping the vehicle at a small store. Kiku didn't look. He just couldn't.

"Kiku, please..." Alfred turned the truck off, unbuckling his seatbelt and scooting closer to him. Kiku still didn't look over, feeling ashamed and embarrassed. Alfred hesitated, but gently put his hand on top of his, slowly intertwining their fingers. Kiku inwardly gasped, his eyes starting to burn as a small tear slid down his cheek.

"Kiks," Alfred leaned over, kissing away the tear. "Don't cry..." He trailed the kisses to Kiku's mouth, licking over his lips. Kiku moaned, but instantly scolded himself, shrugging away from Alfred's touch.

"Get away from me... You don't want me..." Kiku huffed. Alfred threw himself onto Kiku, pinning his wrists back to keep him from fighting. Alfred forced his lips onto Kiku's, forcing his tongue into his mouth. Kiku squirmed, biting down on Alfred's tongue hard. Alfred instantly pulled back, fuming.

"Whadya do that for? You didn't want one last time before we parted ways, eh?" Alfred moved back into his seat, readjusting the seatbelt and starting the truck. He screeched out of the parking spot, rushing down to Kiku's house.

"What the hell? You're going to get pulled over!"

Alfred scoffed. "Like I care." He screeched to a halt in front of Kiku's house. "Get out."

"A-Alfred..."

"DID YOU NOT JUST HEAR ME? GET THE FUCK OUT!" Alfred pushed Kiku out of the truck, speeding away.

Kiku stumbled out of the truck and onto the ground. He quickly stood and ran to the door, tears flowing freely down his cheeks.

"Kiku? Is that you? You're home early, aru..." Yao called from the kitchen. Kiku didn't answer, instead running into his room, gently closing and locking the door.

"_You're just a toy to me, you know that?" _ Chanted in Kiku's mind. He shook his head, throwing himself on onto his bed. He sat there, eyes closed, shakily breathing. He tossed his head to the side and opened his eyes, staring at the small nightstand. An idea instantly sprang in his head as he sat up, digging through the first drawer. After a few moments, he pulled out his desired item: his very own boxcutter. The blade was coloured a slight red and had a strong metallic smell to it. Kiku then let his eyes trail down the ladder of scars on his right arm. Most had faded away from his arm, but not from his mind. He sat back and pushed the blade against his skin, slowly fading away in his own destructive nirvana.

"Kiku..? You okay?" Yao knocked on his door. Kiku quickly sprang up, hiding his right arm behind his back, unlocking the door.

"Kiku... I heard about what happened... I'm really sorry... W-why does it smell like blood in here, aru?" Yao asked, fearful of the answer.

"I-I'm not sure..." Kiku started to blush, and obvious sign he was lying.

"Did something happen to your arms, aru? Why is your right arm tucked behind your back?" Yao started to get curious.

"I...I.."

Yao gently pulled the arm from behind his back. "Y-you..."

"..." Kiku looked away, fearful of what he was going to say to him.

"How bad is it?" That was not the answer Kiku was expecting.

"Not deep enough to kill..." He whispered. Yao hugged onto Kiku as hard as he could. Kiku hugged back, tears falling down his cheeks.

"You aren't a toy... You never will be... Alfred doesn't know what he's missing, aru..." Yao whispered, pulling back from the embrace. Kiku leaned in, gently pecking him on the lips. Yao pecked back, softly smiling.

"You're going to get over him... I promise..."

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><p><strong>AN: OTL Fail ending. Well, this took about 3 hours... Sorry sorry sorry OTL I failed. I really liked writing this, though. **

**~Markey.**


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